This is everyday life subjects that come up. My feel on things. Things that come up during the day. Thoughts. Anything that I can write about with passion. Mostly "raw" moments on this journey through Motherhood.

Monday, January 4, 2016

The First Month

This was probably the hardest time with my son so far, because the both of us didn't quite understand each other just yet. Getting to know his "cries" and what he wanted was difficult, but breast feeding was definitely something that you need to spend quality time adjusting to. I spent countless nights trying to get Hunter to attach to my nipple, he always favoured the right one so my left was always so engorged! The first time I had a blocked duct was excruciating! No one warned me about anything really, so I came into motherhood with a blind eye like a lot of women do. I asked numerous questions on mothers pages on Facebook & then made my own mind up whether I thought it was mastitis or not, although I did have a fever over night, everything was back to normal the next day. So I remember this for the next few times it happened! The best advice I can give you is to jump in the shower, start to massage your breast (which ever one is swollen) & always let bubs feed off that one until you feel the pressure is gone.  Now, babies at this age really don't know the difference between day & night so getting a routine happening is near on impossible. You will find your baby sleeps more during the day & less at night. But eventually I was able to put him in some what of a routine, but then he started not sleep at all during the day & waking up at 1am & not wanting to go back to sleep at all! It soon stretched to 4am & so fourth! The best advice I was ever given was "sleep promotes sleep". So I decided I would try countless ways of getting him to sleep more often during the day until he finally was sleeping for big stretches overnight. But I'll be honest, this wasn't even until about 6 weeks. 
You'll eventually get used to the early mornings, I can't say 5am was the greatest time to be woken, but I did adjust soon enough. The best advice I can give you is that your child will only be a baby for such a short amount of time, time literally slips away from us. So embrace the early mornings & the late nights! 

Sunday, January 3, 2016

Meeting Him

The first time I laid eyes on my baby boy was easily the most beautiful, astounding moment of my life. No words can truly describe how I felt then & there but I was absolutely in awe of our creation. I could only catch a glimpse of him as he was taken across the room to be cleaned up & have his umbilical cord cut, but the very sight of him made my bottom lip quiver. I'd never had that happen to me as an adult, it was a feeling inside me that I had literally never felt. A love like no other. This is when I remembered everyone's comments about it all being "worth it", it definitely was. I would be pregnant again a thousand times over for this overwhelming feeling of love! When he was placed in my arms, my love also grew for Andrew, for he was half the reason this gorgeous little human existed! 
We had decided on a name a couple of weeks prior to him coming into the world, Hunter James. It suited him utterly & completely. He weighed a healthy 10lb 9oz & was 56cms tall! He was so squishy, beautiful, chubby, amazing, so many words I could describe him with. This was truly the best moment of my life, nothing will ever feel more special than the birth of my son. 

Birth

I was 42 weeks pregnant and completely exhausted in every way possible. In no way shape or form did I feel like I was "glowing" like I was told I would. My feet hurt, my hips felt as though they were about to be torn in half, my thrush had flared up to the point where I was crying and my face looked as though I had put on 30kgs. Today was the day I would be induced! FINALLY! I was told to call at 9am before I went into the hospital, I was so excited that I called at 8:55am instead, not that the call was worth waiting an extra 5 minutes for anyway because they bravely told me I would have to wait until 2pm to come in as they were under staffed, by now I was thinking "God help me". I waited impatiently until I was able to lob up at the hospital with my  insanely large belly! When I arrived I was told to sit & wait for my midwife, luckily it wasn't for a long period of time. We finally were taken to my room where everything was supposed to "happen". Of course one of the other midwives hadn't told me weeks ago that I was to be placed in a room overnight with the Prostin gel on my cervix, not to be induced with the oxytocin drip! I sent Andrew home after 8pm to get some rest because nothing was really happening & I said to keep his phone on loud. I was told I would feel some "light" cramping overnight so when I had a sequence of excruciating pain throughout the night I believed that it was what they had explained would occur. The midwife came to me at 7am shortly after Andrew had arrived back at the hospital. She checked the reader & told me that I had been having contractions over the course of 6 hours! I thought to myself that the cramping was a little intense but managed to get some sleep in between the night nurses entering & checking on me every hour. By 8:30am I was hooked up to the oxytocin drip, boy was I in for a treat. I told myself that the contractions weren't going to be bad & that I had been through the worst types of pain before, I was so wrong. 
Even when I thought I could never dislike my mother in-law because she was so beautiful, I more than disliked anyone in the room. The midwife was the devil, my mother in-law was "bossy", my fiancĂ© was annoying me & I was upsetting myself more than anyone! With every contraction I cried more & more, I wanted it to be over. Between contractions I needed to pee, in saying that, I literally did NOT need to pee at all, little man must have just been sitting on my poor, poor bladder! It was exhausting taking the drip with me to the toilet every 5 minutes & every time I went in there every body thought it was just hilarious, in which I definitely did not! Contractions on the toilet were even more fun! Nothing prepares you for the amount of pain you feel giving birth. After 5 long hours I was finally told by a team of doctors (yes a whole team were staring at my vagina) that my little boy was not sitting on my cervix and by the measurements they were sure that even his head wouldnt push through let alone his shoulders. I was told  I needed to make a choice, I could either struggle for the next 18 hours & have an emergency c-section causing trauma to both me & my extremely big bubba or have a elected c-section then & there. I chose what was best for the both of us, although I swore I would have a natural born & had my heart set on a water birth, nothing really goes to plan. I will be completely honest with you, as soon as they turned off the Oxytocin drip I was in heaven! At the time I literally thought it was the best thing that had ever happened to me hahaha. 
Shortly later, we were taken into the surgery room, everything went so fast from there. I was given the epidural (which I swear I screamed for during the 5 hours of labour 😂) and then the doctors proceeded with the Caesarian, where I soon met the love of my life! 

Pregnancy

What they don't tell you is that Pregnancy can actually be quite horrible! They give you a little hint by mentioning that "it's all worth it in the end" but they don't break down every little detail of just how extremely long, painful & exhausting growing a baby can be. I'm apart of the percentage that definitely didn't enjoy being pregnant. Here is a little insight on my pregnancy timeline.

5-6 weeks: 
Naomi & I embarked on our journey to work as we normally did, but started the day off a little different with a discussion of how late I was for my period! She swore I was pregnant & that my breasts were so engorged that I must be! Of course at the time I thought she was being ridiculous. We reached a clients house who had soon become a friend after a short time of servicing her house. She suggested I do a home pregnancy test as she had a spare one lying around! I took the test with us to the next house & peed on the stick as you do! At this stage I probably should have suggested I do it at home but my co worker insisted that she needed to know now haha! I sat it on a piece of toilet paper & went ahead with work. I hear my co worker yell out from afar "YOU'RE PREGNANT!!!!". This is where I yelled out "Fuck off!", I'll point out that I thought she was messing with me and I really thought she was kidding. I walked over to the pink & white stick & I could swear my jaw hit the ground like in one of those cartoon characters on tv. 
The next day Andrew & I decided to get a blood test! Sure enough I was about 5-6 weeks pregnant! 

6-13 weeks : 
Something everyone also forgets to mention is that you turn into an absolute psychopath & cry your eyes out over just about anything as your body tries to cope with all the changes! Countless times I think I drove my poor fiancĂ© over the edge with my madness. Accusing him of "wanting another girlfriend" (I don't think he could handle two to be honest haha) I accused him every single day of not loving me anymore, I have no idea how I even come to believe any of this was fact, but thankfully my love road it out like a champ. Along with the nausea & headaches the first trimester was finally over! 

14-26 weeks :
I feel that this trimester was probably the best out of the three. Although I was still carrying on with work, it was with ease as I hadn't quite gotten to a ridiculous size that continuing work was some what uncomfortable. Furthermore there were times that I still struggled to do day to day activities. Shortness of breath was something I carried throughout the pregnancy, as well as a temperature that could have been close to ridiculous! Probably the worst symptom I could think of was the thrush, little did I know that I would carry this with me for the entire 9 months! Horrible, horrible itching & burning, for 9 months!!! 

27- 42 weeks :
Although I discontinued working at 32 weeks, this didn't really make life easier. My main discomfort was when my little man went Posterior, no one mentions that your baby can go Posterior. Only rainbows & butterflies remember. I had broken my back 3 years prior to becoming pregnant which definitely made him being back to back that little bit more painful! Soon enough he turned though & I could try to "enjoy" pregnancy.  Every day I seemed be watching the clock & every day time went slower & slower. I could have sworn I'd gone mad!  40 weeks was a little more exciting as I was now expecting my son at any moment, little did I know he wasn't ready to come out at all! 
I did everything mentionable to try to get him to make an entrance into our world, but I have to be the one to break it to everyone, IT DOESNT WORK! I hiked to the end of god damn Portsea, I had sex (awful, awful sex)  I drank Raspberry tea, I had hot baths, I stimulated my nipples (yes, yes I did), I did all the home remedies plus Acupuncture & NOTHING worked! So for the women who have success stories, I would say it was a fluke! 

Introduction

My name is Sarah Rose & I am 25 years old, I recently gave birth to my beautiful little boy Hunter James! It seems like a life time ago that I was on this account, it's amazing looking back at my train of thought from when I was a teenager. Also embarrassing but hey, we are all young once! But what I've really come here to talk about is my new journey as a new mum! A journey in which I became a woman. I'll try to blog at least once a week, between enjoying every moment with Hunter and day to day routines etc. I've always loved writing so I hope you all enjoy it as much as I do! I'm here to share some "raw" moments of motherhood. I won't bypass the horrible moments, I will definitely have stories you can all relate to. Welcome to my page! If you'd like, please follow me on Instagram as well: https://www.instagram.com/hunter_and_mummy