This is everyday life subjects that come up. My feel on things. Things that come up during the day. Thoughts. Anything that I can write about with passion. Mostly "raw" moments on this journey through Motherhood.

Sunday, January 3, 2016


I was 42 weeks pregnant and completely exhausted in every way possible. In no way shape or form did I feel like I was "glowing" like I was told I would. My feet hurt, my hips felt as though they were about to be torn in half, my thrush had flared up to the point where I was crying and my face looked as though I had put on 30kgs. Today was the day I would be induced! FINALLY! I was told to call at 9am before I went into the hospital, I was so excited that I called at 8:55am instead, not that the call was worth waiting an extra 5 minutes for anyway because they bravely told me I would have to wait until 2pm to come in as they were under staffed, by now I was thinking "God help me". I waited impatiently until I was able to lob up at the hospital with my  insanely large belly! When I arrived I was told to sit & wait for my midwife, luckily it wasn't for a long period of time. We finally were taken to my room where everything was supposed to "happen". Of course one of the other midwives hadn't told me weeks ago that I was to be placed in a room overnight with the Prostin gel on my cervix, not to be induced with the oxytocin drip! I sent Andrew home after 8pm to get some rest because nothing was really happening & I said to keep his phone on loud. I was told I would feel some "light" cramping overnight so when I had a sequence of excruciating pain throughout the night I believed that it was what they had explained would occur. The midwife came to me at 7am shortly after Andrew had arrived back at the hospital. She checked the reader & told me that I had been having contractions over the course of 6 hours! I thought to myself that the cramping was a little intense but managed to get some sleep in between the night nurses entering & checking on me every hour. By 8:30am I was hooked up to the oxytocin drip, boy was I in for a treat. I told myself that the contractions weren't going to be bad & that I had been through the worst types of pain before, I was so wrong. 
Even when I thought I could never dislike my mother in-law because she was so beautiful, I more than disliked anyone in the room. The midwife was the devil, my mother in-law was "bossy", my fiancé was annoying me & I was upsetting myself more than anyone! With every contraction I cried more & more, I wanted it to be over. Between contractions I needed to pee, in saying that, I literally did NOT need to pee at all, little man must have just been sitting on my poor, poor bladder! It was exhausting taking the drip with me to the toilet every 5 minutes & every time I went in there every body thought it was just hilarious, in which I definitely did not! Contractions on the toilet were even more fun! Nothing prepares you for the amount of pain you feel giving birth. After 5 long hours I was finally told by a team of doctors (yes a whole team were staring at my vagina) that my little boy was not sitting on my cervix and by the measurements they were sure that even his head wouldnt push through let alone his shoulders. I was told  I needed to make a choice, I could either struggle for the next 18 hours & have an emergency c-section causing trauma to both me & my extremely big bubba or have a elected c-section then & there. I chose what was best for the both of us, although I swore I would have a natural born & had my heart set on a water birth, nothing really goes to plan. I will be completely honest with you, as soon as they turned off the Oxytocin drip I was in heaven! At the time I literally thought it was the best thing that had ever happened to me hahaha. 
Shortly later, we were taken into the surgery room, everything went so fast from there. I was given the epidural (which I swear I screamed for during the 5 hours of labour 😂) and then the doctors proceeded with the Caesarian, where I soon met the love of my life! 

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